Following Christ: An Evaluation

I have a lot of faults which I have been trying to overcome all my life. I am one who believes that whatever problems I cause, I have the responsibility to solve my way - the way I see it.

I used to do good things, by following every inspiration I got, always thinking of making things easy for others, like offering to do what I foresaw they needed, even before I was asked. Even now, I cannot remember saying “no” to any chance that has come my way to do some good, believing that the opportunity may not come again. Unfortunately, my good intentions have often been misunderstood.

One of my biggest faults is my impatience, which almost always results in anger and ultimately un-forgiveness. For as long as I can remember, I have always tried to live a righteous life, and probably because of that, I have had no patience or understanding when things and people fall short of my expectations.

My anger and frustration with people, and how situations had been handled, embittered me and made me so angry that I quit going to my weekly prayer group meetings and attending daily morning Mass. But God has been so patient and loving, so understanding and forgiving that He continued to call me to frequent confession, and to stay faithful to my Sunday and Holy Day Mass obligations, and the reception of the Holy Eucharist.

Still, my hardness of heart made it hard for me to even think of letting go of my bitterness. Considering being humble enough to forgive did not even cross my mind. With ChristLife, I have come to accept what I have known all along; that being “right” is not always what is important, because being “loving” is what Jesus asks of me.

Through ChristLife, God spoke to me deep down in my heart. He helped me see how important it is for me to forgive those who have wronged me, because I myself have done many wrong things that have offended God who is all good and deserving of all my love. If God forgives me every time I sin and ask for His forgiveness during Reconciliation, then I, too, must ask forgiveness from those I have hurt and offended.

God works through the people He places in our lives and through the situations we find ourselves in. I praise and thank God for inviting me to participate in ChristLife because he has removed the blinders from my eyes to see what has been preventing me from becoming the person He has always wanted me to be. I realize now, more than ever, that pride had prevented me from seeing His truth. Through the lectures, witness testimonies, group sharing, and the many cumulative events that have happened to me, God humbled me to the very core of my being. He showed me that on my own, I can do nothing. But with Him I can overcome pride and find true peace by becoming more loving and quick to forgive.

Thank you, Holy Spirit. I know You moved me to write my reflection, because our grandfather clock struck three in the afternoon, the Holy Hour of Mercy, just as I was finished writing. Please hold my hand, lest I fall back into my old ways. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

- Written by: Cora Sanchez