The other day I caught a few minutes of a documentary on TV about “Green River killer” Gary Ridgeway’s final moments in court. Several family members of victims publicly told him how much they hated him and how he deserved to go to hell. Then a father of a victim spoke. He told Ridgeway, “You have made it hard for me to live what I believe…. I forgive you.” Ridgeway broke down in tears.
Forgiveness is a tall
order, challenging us to live what we claim to believe. It can be quite a leap
from passively listening to actively participating. Last week’s session taught
us that forgiveness should be unlimited, it should be a lifestyle, and if you
want to follow Jesus, you must live this. Sometimes it feels impossible to
forgive. It makes us vulnerable. It demands that we trust God.
In our table discussion,
we noted the men tend to let go of grudges more easily than women. They could
compartmentalize conflict with others. If someone tried to cheat them in
business, it was just business, and mostly separate from a personal
relationship. Women are more relationship-oriented, and are therefore more
prone to internalizing conflict because we don’t draw such black and white
lines between, say, business and personal situations. But it still stands that
forgiveness challenges us all. It is different for each person and each
situation, but if forces us to dig deep because it needs to come from the
heart.
We don’t always have to
reconcile two ways. We can forgive in our hearts and release the destructive
chains of bitterness and resentment. The great news is we don’t have to wait
for the other party to forgive. Thank God for that!
I take comfort in
realizing we are a part of something greater than us, greater than the one who
commits an offense against us. And I know as a human being I will fall down,
but I can get up and try again, thanks to God.
- Written by: Susan Eick
